


Insomnia

by sanlight_twt



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Low Self-Esteem, Mention of Loneliness, One Shot, mention of depression, mention of sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 15:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18920116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanlight_twt/pseuds/sanlight_twt
Summary: A nightmare after a fight and Changbin finished his night on the couch. At least, he tried…missing feeling you warm against him.





	Insomnia

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [Tumblr](https://sempiternaluffy.tumblr.com) where I post more (timestamps...)

_The sun was setting, and darkness started to come up. Keys in the lock, and it took no turns to Changbin to open the door. It was abnormal but denying it as only an omission by y/n, he entered._

_A simple little “hello” escaped his lips as he stumbled on some shattered glasses. Cracking sounds from under his shoes creeped up in his ears, closing the door behind him. He stared at the floor where the crispy sound came from, there were thick glasses all over the floor, he then followed the path of fragments. Fragments from what he wondered, a vase? a glass? a mirror? They were gathered at beginning of the corridor, as if someone just throw a bunch of frail objects at this exact place, out of anger, of sadness, or madness._

_In the living room, nothing. In the kitchen, barely nothing either. Expect maybe the few mugs still unwashed from the morning breakfast. A cup of coffee or tea from time to time, that was his regular drink when the sun hasn’t rose yet and when you could barely hear the early birds chirping._

_The guest bedroom was still closed. He opened it, peeping through the little space between the door and the wall. Nothing. Changbin found the apartment strangely silent. Stifling his heart, his lungs. No tracks of y/n. She was nowhere to be found yet, nowhere to be sensed. He could feel his heart clenched in a painful way, the dark tension in the apartment was suffocating. He still had the bedroom to check. Not like he wanted to look what happened in it, but he needed to make sure. So, he knew._

_The door was half opened, and the darkness already took possession of the room, consuming, eating the last rays of sun who disappeared. He pushed the door who revealed an upside-down room. His cleaning products in the bathroom had fell down from the sink onto the floor. The wardrobe was cleared from any feminine clothes such as dresses, lingerie or skirts. The bed sheets settled crumpled on the carpet. The computer was laid back on the desk, the screen cracked, the few drawers opened and emptied, some papers and pencils still spread out on the floor._

_As Changbin got closer to the desk, he saw a squared paper with a few words written on it. From y/n._

_“I can’t do his anymore. I’m leaving, don’t look for me please. Y/n.”_

_That was all. He read it two to three times, trying to understand each word, sinking down the floor, sliding against the wall. Maybe he knew when he understood them when a tear went streaming down his cheek. She left. Leaving him alone. With his mistakes. Did he have a chance to bring her back? She precisely said to not look for her. Was it an order? Did she mean it?_

_He started to wonder if the years they spend together were foolish. They weren’t. At least for him. What if they were for her? That couldn’t be true, he thought. Maybe she lied. If, what was the point?_

_And there he stood, sited on the carpet, teary eyes and heartaches. Sun started to show up. God knows how long he stayed there, waiting. Waiting for what? For who? Her? But she left. She won’t be coming back. Never._

Sweat running down his forehead, Changbin woke up abruptly, blood pulsing in his veins faster than usual. Heart aching and lungs searching for air. A nightmare. Just a nightmare. But the fight between you two three hours before was real. He could still remember your expression, the emotions going through your eyes as you shouted to each other. Pain. He saw pain in your eyes, and he felt it. He made a mistake. He turned his head around and saw your sleeping figure on his left, facing the window. Breathing at a normal pace. You were okay.

He couldn’t go back to sleep. He stood up, putting on his slippers, at 3am the floor was cold and unpleasant. He walked down the corridor that brings him to the kitchen. He opened the cupboard and the glass he took from it, ringed on the wood remembering the sensation and the sounds of the shattered glasses under his shoes from his nightmare.

Only the melody of the water falling in the sink and the  _tic_  of the clock hand could be heard in the apartment. Nothing else. He drank down the cold water but couldn’t feel any better and of course, go back by your side. His only option was to sleep on the couch. At least, if he could.

When he sat down, the words who slipped from his mouth during the fight came back to him, as if it was knives sinking down his heart. He hurt you and he hated that. What can he possibly do make you forgive him? Were you even ready to forgive him?

He laid down, put a blanket over him and stared at the ceiling, trying to find sleep through the mess going on in his head. Yet he found the courage to close his eyes and not drowned in his darkest thoughts. Left. Right. And he’s on his back again. He missed you. He missed your warm presence by his side. The feeling of security he had when you were sleeping flush against him.

He loves you, for fuck sake he does. And he was terribly sorry to be such a jerk with you sometimes, that wasn’t him, it never was. Was his low self-esteem striking again? He didn’t know, but he needn’t to change that before doing something he could not change. Nevertheless, he managed to sleep a little, at least three hours, in between waking up and checking on you.

When he opened his eyes, the sun was starting to rise. He went to the kitchen to drink a coffee to wake up from this tormented night. He heard the dropping water of the shower coming from inside the bedroom. Entering the room, he saw some used tissues over the floor on your side. Did you cry?

Then here you are. Coming out from the bathroom, wet hair and a towel around your body. You were both looking at each other like two strangers making eye contact for the first time. No one dared to speak first, but Changbin tried.

“Hey…did you sleep well?”, he asked fainting a smile.

“I did, thank you…and you?”

“I…tried…”, he answered.

You went silent again. You went behind him to pick some clothes from the wardrobe and the tension in this room couldn’t be worse. Once clothed, you took the towel to put it back in the bathroom, but Changbin took your wrist and spin you around.

“Y/n listen…for yesterday, I’m really sorry. I-…I regret everything I’ve said to you, it’s not me. And I don’t know what I can do to make things better. Please…believe me I-”, he stopped talking when you planted a kiss on his lips.

A soft but loving kiss. A kiss that said ‘yes, I forgive you’. He wasn’t excepting that reaction from you. You hugged him tight, feeing him against you. You felt secured, relieved and out of all worries that went through your mind this morning.

“Stop talking you don’t know how much I missed you. When I woke up, I thought you left! I know you didn’t mean a single word you said, still it hurt me when you did, but thinking back now, it wasn’t you and I know it. My heart knows…Changbin I love you okay?”, you said running a finger over his cheek, looking into his eyes and letting you heart speaks for you.

“I love you too, it won’t happen again I promise! We will find ways to talk to each other without doing…what we did yesterday y/n”, he sobbed kissing you to give his last apologies.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [Tumblr](https://sempiternaluffy.tumblr.com) where I post more (timestamps...)


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